If I'm honest, I've been struggling a little bit these past few weeks. I started working from home about two weeks earlier than everyone else because I had the flu towards the end of February/early March. Right before we were dragged knee-deep into the midst of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic. And it's scary. My first reaction, which seems to have become my new norm over the past few years, is to try and find the positive. But that reaction has been slowly fading as the days and months wear on...
I'm sure most of us have seen the memes floating around the internet telling us ask ourselves what kind of normal we seek to return to. I know I have. Upon self-reflection of this question my short answer is, "I don't know". This answer, however, is surely due to lingering questions that we all have: When will the virus peak? How many people more people will fall ill? How many others will die? Will it impact me and my family? If so, how? Will we ever be free of this disease? Will my Mom ever be safe again outside? Will the economy tank? Will I keep my job?... the list goes on.
(My Parents, Summer 2019)
My Mom was diagnosed with Lupus in 1990
I keep asking myself these questions and find it easy to get sucked into the rabbit hole of hopelessness and despair. It's easy to imagine the maybes and what-ifs. And it's easy to foresee a future post-COVID that has a profound impact on me and my family including the death of one or all of us. It's terrifying and I've been in tears multiple times over the past week or so getting draw into my fear and sense of helplessness in the face of the unknown. So what now? What sustains me? What keeps me from spiraling down into the abyss? A simple answer: Christ. ***Dislaimer: Sometimes he has to draw me out of the abyss... because I've already taken the plunge.
He is my bedrock. And amidst the chaos of nothingness (because it is a chaos, albeit a controlled chaos within one 1,100 sq. ft. condo) I keep turning back to Him. Faith is defined in Hebrews 11:1 as "the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." (ESV). How can we have faith in something that we cannot see or hope for an unknown future? How does my faith sustain me in dark times which seemingly may go on forever? My answer is trust.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."
- Proverbs 3:5
In the good times, we are eager to trust in our Father's goodwill towards us, his plans to prosper us and give us good things. In dark times... giving our trust over to this Lord whom we have not seen with our eyes is not as easy and we are certainly not overly eager. So we trust in knowledge, we trust in science and data and that which we can see. I would propose to you that the two are mutually exclusive.
If you know me personally then you are aware that I like to stay informed so I'm constantly reading articles or the news to keep up with what's happening in the world. I care deeply about the world around me and its inhabitants. These past few months have been no different. In fact, if this situation has done anything it's made me even more vigilant about taking in the news and information being reported and being more outspoken about my beliefs. I value knowledge.
"Work like it depends on you. Pray like it depends on God."
- Mark Batterson, Lead Pastor at National Community Church
I've heard Mark say this a million times over the years and as cheesy as it may be this is the approach I take to my life, especially now. Both faith and knowledge are sustaining me and allowing me to be able to engage others beyond these figurative four walls. They are allowing me to speak out boldly and in faith and to encourage others, to engage them, and to meet them where they're at and to give them some sort of semblance of hope. Something to grab onto when it seems like are grasping for wisps in the wind or ghosts in the dark.
I am not a perfect human being by any stretch of the imagination. But my prayer is that in the midst of my hurt and sadness God uses me to be a light to the ones around me as He is able. And to speak truth in not just a spiritual sense but in a worldly sense also. We are not helpless. We are not defeated. We do not "box as one who beats the air". We have a purpose and a calling to serve others, to meet them where they are and to shine brightly so that He may open eyes to see and hear. To inform others of the truth, spiritually and scientifically.
And those who call themselves children of the Living God and yet are willfully choosing to disobey the laws of man; we cannot choose to remain willfully ignorant of science and data as followers of Christ. Science and data matter. It helps us save lives. The gift of medicine and the gift of science were not unknown to God when he created each and every doctor or scientist! He crafts us all intentionally and with purpose. And those individuals serving right now are using their gifts and calling to help others. Let us do the same even from within our own homes by informing ourselves while also reaching out to our neighbors to share our hope in the God of salvation and of grace. May we show grace and compassion to one another in our time of need... God calls us to that. May we heed the call.
-M
No comments:
Post a Comment