The Depth of Faith

I should start by saying that it would be a lie to say these past 7 months have been easy… and while that’s not where this story begins… it’s where it currently is. It is a story in progress… a faith in process…

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How do you learn to cope with a broken heart? Who do you turn to when you feel as if you could never be put back together whole again? 

The answer… is Jesus. 

You see, I’ve had faith most of my life. I grew up with faith. I grew up in Church… literally, as the child of a music minister, I grew up in the church building… many of my earliest memories are being at practices and rehearsals there. Playing in the pews and listening to hymns and contemporary gospel. 

But I didn’t really know what faith was until I was 14 or 15 and experienced my first true loss… and I retreated. I retreated into myself in a way that I hadn’t ever before. The loss was my Mammaw (grandmother to the non-Appalachian folks). She had cancer and it was a long and difficult battle. I’ll never forget that my Mom said she was playing piano when she passed… or that her favorite song was The Old Rugged Cross… or that we, her grandchildren, never washed our hands enough :). Her love left a mark… and it left a hole when she was gone. 

“Love always leaves a mark.” - The Shack 

And it affected my faith in a way that was inexplicable. When I retreated into myself, I lost part of myself. And I leaned into expressing my feelings and emotions through poems and music mostly… they were outlets to expressing deep emotions that my teenage self didn’t know how to…Now in my 30s, I still have those poems. But it wasn’t until I was on a bus heading back home from a youth work trip listening to Kirk Franklin’s “The Nu Nation Project” on my CD player… withdrawing and blocking out the world like I usually did. But something changed in that moment… almost like an awakening. In my mind’s eye, I envisioned a brick wall being knocked down and rebuilt brick by brick, mortar by mortar… my faith was being renewed and changed into something different; stronger, alive. It was my first true faith experience. Something changed within me and I became newer, more whole… 

But at 14, there was still a lot of life to live and a lot of experiences both good and not so good. I graduated high school, went to college… met a guy there. A few guys… none of them worked out. But one relationship followed me. And I followed it thinking that I’d found my person. For 10 years I chased this relationship… refusing to believe that God hadn’t said “no” so explicitly. I fought him every step of the way. 

And along the way I experienced more pain, more loss, more anger, more bitterness. Not just from that relationship, but all my experiences along the way… including those in the Church and how I felt about and saw myself and believed I was. By my mid-to-late 20s, I had fought so long and become so angry and bitter, I had pushed everyone that I loved away. Save one. And I remember one night sitting in my car and asking God, as I sobbed, to just hold me. And in that car seat I felt His arms envelop me… in a way that I’d never felt before. It’s rare in my life that I’ve called out to God and heard him or felt so clearly or so tangibly… but this was one of those moments…  I’ve only had a few. 

But it took counseling and consistently hearing who God told me I was… the truths he speaks over me every minute of every day for me to begin to understand who I truly was and to experience faith in a different way again… deeper. It took all these things for my heart to begin to soften… and for me to let go. You see, letting go takes a long time… and sometimes it takes doing it 1,000 times for it to start getting easier. And it did… with the help of those around me who loved me and reminded me who I was and who I was called to be… and hearing from God in a new way… I stopped chasing that relationship and moved forward. I gave it over to God who assured me He would be with my every step of the way… and He was. He still is… 

As I entered my 30s, I was suddenly “alone”’again. I don’t know about you, but I’d always thought I’d have been married right out of college, find the love of my life there just like my parents. But, I’ve already told you it didn’t happen that way. It was a scary time for me… trying to rebuild my sense of self and establish new patterns and new circles of friends and to figure out what I wanted. Where I was going. It took me a few years to really find my bearings… to begin to establish new friends, new faith, and to see myself through a new lens. 

The real change, though, happened when I got Quinn, my (now 4-year old) foster fail 6.5 week old puppy from the shelter. I officially adopted him at 8 weeks… and as he grew, I began to come out of my shell, to make new friends, and to find a new part of myself. I began to get into dog sports. I was already into volleyball. And volunteering at the animal shelter, obviously. I was going to a new church. A lot of things had changed. I had changed. I am still changing… 

Fast forward to 2020, I had just started my dream job when the pandemic hit. The pandemic was probably one of the scariest times of my life. When your parents are not only older but one of them has multiple auto-immune diseases… well, life gets a lot more complicated. I had already struggled with losing her… I still do sometimes. But the danger was so much more heightened then that I was borderline panicky and I didn’t realize how much stress was actually affecting me until I realized I was literally pulling out some of my hair. I started counseling again. And during this time I was forming friendships with my people from work, leaning into the friendships I’d cultivated through Quinn (including now some of my closest friends), and trying to keep myself sane. I leaned into my faith. I journaled some. Though, if you know me, I’ve never been consistent or enjoyed journaling. God was growing me, whether I knew it or not. And I didn’t really. I was coasting by with my faith, calling out to God when I needed him, and ignoring him otherwise. My prayer life was inconsistent. I was angry about where the American Church was and how so many had aligned themselves with and even worshipped a man so vile that I consider him to be the complete antithesis of who God is. It sickened me and I was angry. And it was easy to avoid church during the pandemic, for obvious reasons. 

Made it through 2020 and started into 2021… we were still very much in the middle of the pandemic and most of my friendships were still the ones I was growing with friends at work. We bonded over various things, bantered over random topics, and in general, enjoyed each other’s company. One guy kind of stood out in our work groups because he was genuine and funny…To be clear, my humor is an acquired taste, but so was his and he made me laugh with his comments and insights so it all worked out. We were often the odd ducks in chats laughing about something obscure or that we only thought was funny. We were becoming actual friends. 

In October, we started to talk more regularly. We bonded over our dogs and developed a mutual trust and respect for one another. By January we were talking almost daily and one day, for some reason, I brought up my faith. It was honestly unprecedented. I’d never done that at work and didn’t really think it was appropriate for work chat. But we had developed a trust and I needed a friend. I confided in him that I was in an odd place right now with God, angry that so many of those who had professed Him were with open arms accepting so many things that were hateful and absent of the Gospel. I was questioning… And he confided in me that he too was in the same place. It felt nice to know that I wasn’t alone in those feelings and that struggle. It deepened our friendship even further. 

By the end of January, he’d asked me out and we were in a relationship. Something that neither of us has been in for quite a while even though we’d both been looking the whole time. And we’d both agreed that we were made for each other in a way that was surprising… especially, as I mentioned, that we were both a little different… but we matched each other’s different and saw each other and loved each other. We laughed so much and the friendship that we’d built just made things that much sweeter. After a few months… we went through a rocky patch. It was a really tough one. I’d been really sick, we hadn’t been communicating well, and he had gotten home from traveling to find his home in need of some major repairs. The stress was at its peak. And long story short, he called me one afternoon and broke my heart… Without explanation… and to be honest it didn’t make much sense. It still doesn’t… 

And I broke. I am still broken. Some days my heart still feels like it’s shattered into a million pieces and that it’ll never fit back together the same. Sometimes I worry that it never will heal completely. But that’s another story. 

So these last 7 months have been me leaning into faith in a way that I’ve never done before. God has been teaching me so much about myself and about the things that I’ve carried for so long that he is allowing me to let go of. He is showing me how closed off and judgmental I have been. The truly amazing part is when God shows you how much of a fool you’ve been as you consider yourself so wise and loving and kind and then the truth comes out and you’re not nearly as good as you thought you were. In fact, I’ve learned that for someone who has thought herself very unselfish, I am extremely selfish. He is growing me. He is growing me in a direction that is new… and scary… and requires faith and openness and trust in the promises that He’s spoken over me. 

I have followed his ways and done what he has asked me. Not always perfectly, certainly, but in good faith and trying to listen well. There have definitely been times when fear has overtaken me… and I was too scared to do what he asked of me. In one particular instance it spectacularly blew up in my face. Lesson learned. In others He has been faithful beyond belief. So much so that I have seen my prayers answered in small but meaningful and tangible ways. He has reassured me and worked miracles that have no other explanation but Him. I wake up every morning and speak with Him first… and He reassures me that He’s working still. 

There are times (many times) when I doubt myself in what I have heard or what I have seen… and God is often quick to send me a message that tells me He has done what he said He has done. Some of them have been “drop your fork” stunning. Jaw on the floor type stuff. Others more mundane. But still Him. 

This season has changed me. But at the beginning of it all He told me it was a season of growth and reflection. And now He’s telling me that this season is coming to a close… slowly but surely. 

My heart still aches… that hasn’t changed. I miss my best friend… and I still don’t quite know what happened. But I have entrusted to God my heart and His plans for my life and in that I can find peace… He knows my hopes and my dreams and he bends his ear down to hear my prayer. He welcomes me into the throne room and invites me to sit with him… sometimes it’s on the throne room floor sitting cross-legged, others it’s him holding me, even still others it’s sitting huddled beside him for comfort or reassurance or him holding my hands in his. He is deepening my faith little by little and teaching me that I still have a long way to go. 

In the past two weeks or so this Scripture keeps popping up all over the place… and I’m still considering how He wants to use it… but it is this: 

“Above all, love one another deeply, for love covers a multitude of sins.” - 1 Peter 4:8 

I am far from perfect… and I know that at times my love has been self serving. But I also know that He covers me in those moments and is able to redeem them and help me to see my errors and my own selfishness. 

I recently read a book by Bob Goff entitled “Everybody Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People”. Spoiler alert, we are all those difficult people. But in this book he talks about living out your faith in a meaningful way. All this to say, I enjoy Bob Goff. And I’ve never been one to enjoy “Christian literature” or fawn over people I consider to be seen as Christian celebrities. I’m cautious and a skeptic. There, I said it. But Bob is genuine. And he practices what he preaches. He also said this:

“In God’s economy, nothing is ever wasted. Not our pain, nor our disappointments, nor our setbacks. These are tools that can be used later as a recipe for our best work. Quit throwing the ‘batter’ away.” 

I suppose it’s akin to a saying that I believe based on my own experiences.

“Out of our deepest wounds come our greatest gifts”

I don’t remember where I originally saw it or read it… but I know its truth. God has used some of my deepest wounds to bless others in my life who are experiencing the same things I did. He has used those times to speak hope and life into people. 

He is deepening my faith… and I am praying for an answer to his promises over my life. Until then, I’ll keep diving down further with Him as my guide. I don’t ever want to go back to living without Him by my side. I need him, and I know it. 

Faith + Knowledge: Mutual Exclusivity?

If I'm honest, I've been struggling a little bit these past few weeks. I started working from home about two weeks earlier than everyone else because I had the flu towards the end of February/early March. Right before we were dragged knee-deep into the midst of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic. And it's scary. My first reaction, which seems to have become my new norm over the past few years, is to try and find the positive. But that reaction has been slowly fading as the days and months wear on...

I'm sure most of us have seen the memes floating around the internet telling us ask ourselves what kind of normal we seek to return to. I know I have. Upon self-reflection of this question my short answer is, "I don't know". This answer, however, is surely due to lingering questions that we all have: When will the virus peak? How many people more people will fall ill? How many others will die? Will it impact me and my family? If so, how? Will we ever be free of this disease? Will my Mom ever be safe again outside? Will the economy tank? Will I keep my job?... the list goes on.

(My Parents, Summer 2019)

My Mom was diagnosed with Lupus in 1990

I keep asking myself these questions and find it easy to get sucked into the rabbit hole of hopelessness and despair. It's easy to imagine the maybes and what-ifs. And it's easy to foresee a future post-COVID that has a profound impact on me and my family including the death of one or all of us. It's terrifying and I've been in tears multiple times over the past week or so getting draw into my fear and sense of helplessness in the face of the unknown. So what now? What sustains me? What keeps me from spiraling down into the abyss? A simple answer: Christ. ***Dislaimer: Sometimes he has to draw me out of the abyss... because I've already taken the plunge. 

He is my bedrock. And amidst the chaos of nothingness (because it is a chaos, albeit a controlled chaos within one 1,100 sq. ft. condo) I keep turning back to Him. Faith is defined in Hebrews 11:1 as "the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." (ESV). How can we have faith in something that we cannot see or hope for an unknown future? How does my faith sustain me in dark times which seemingly may go on forever? My answer is trust.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." 

- Proverbs 3:5

In the good times, we are eager to trust in our Father's goodwill towards us, his plans to prosper us and give us good things. In dark times... giving our trust over to this Lord whom we have not seen with our eyes is not as easy and we are certainly not overly eager. So we trust in knowledge, we trust in science and data and that which we can see. I would propose to you that the two are mutually exclusive.

If you know me personally then you are aware that I like to stay informed so I'm constantly reading articles or the news to keep up with what's happening in the world. I care deeply about the world around me and its inhabitants. These past few months have been no different. In fact, if this situation has done anything it's made me even more vigilant about taking in the news and information being reported and being more outspoken about my beliefs. I value knowledge. 

"Work like it depends on you. Pray like it depends on God." 

- Mark Batterson, Lead Pastor at National Community Church 

I've heard Mark say this a million times over the years and as cheesy as it may be this is the approach I take to my life, especially now. Both faith and knowledge are sustaining me and allowing me to be able to engage others beyond these figurative four walls. They are allowing me to speak out boldly and in faith and to encourage others, to engage them, and to meet them where they're at and to give them some sort of semblance of hope. Something to grab onto when it seems like are grasping for wisps in the wind or ghosts in the dark. 

I am not a perfect human being by any stretch of the imagination. But my prayer is that in the midst of my hurt and sadness God uses me to be a light to the ones around me as He is able. And to speak truth in not just a spiritual sense but in a worldly sense also. We are not helpless. We are not defeated. We do not "box as one who beats the air". We have a purpose and a calling to serve others, to meet them where they are and to shine brightly so that He may open eyes to see and hear. To inform others of the truth, spiritually and scientifically. 

And those who call themselves children of the Living God and yet are willfully choosing to disobey the laws of man; we cannot choose to remain willfully ignorant of science and data as followers of Christ. Science and data matter. It helps us save lives. The gift of medicine and the gift of science were not unknown to God when he created each and every doctor or scientist! He crafts us all intentionally and with purpose. And those individuals serving right now are using their gifts and calling to help others. Let us do the same even from within our own homes by informing ourselves while also reaching out to our neighbors to share our hope in the God of salvation and of grace. May we show grace and compassion to one another in our time of need... God calls us to that. May we heed the call. 

-M

"Know Your Place"

1 Corinthians 12:18-20 "But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body."

Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. 

What does it mean to know your place? What is your place? And how, as a "feeler" do I make those discerning decisions about the next steps to take in the face of difficult or uncertainty?

We are all different, parts of one body, gifted with different strengths and weaknesses, fit together perfectly and working seamlessly. And Jesus knew what He was doing when he made us, whole, and pure, knitting us together and making plans for us from the beginning, from our first heartbeat to our last.

We are all so unique that I think sometimes we forget that our uniqueness is part of our strength. When we come into this world, we come out untainted, and without the brokenness from lessons learned of love and loss and unfulfilled expectations or perceived failures. We learn, as life moves along, that "life is not fair" and that sometimes things don't happen the way we expect them to. The love of your life doesn't love you back, you don't get into the college you'd hoped for, or perhaps you lose someone close unexpectedly. All of these experiences inform our very being. They shape us into who we were made to be. But what we were made to be really? Were we made to be weak, sad, broken, or were we made to be fierce, independent, strong, and resilient? Well... I'd like to make a suggestion. We were made to be both. Both strong and weak, both broken and resilient, both empathetic and logical. Because when we are that, we are the best of ourselves.

Recognizing that when we admit our weakness, that this is strength. When we are broken, there is grace and love. When we are in need, there is help. And that we can have all of these things at the same time. Life is not a one-sided coin and we are not static people. We should not stay in one season of life or another for so long that we become one-dimensional. We are dynamic individuals, who were created to feel, to empathize, to hurt, to love. Just as Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says, there is a season for everything, and a time for every activity under Heaven.

So I guess the question is now... what am I getting at here? And I guess the answer is...I don't really know. All I know is that we were made to relate. With one another. With the Creator. And when we let go and recognize that we have the freedom to let Him change our deepest wounds into healing ministries for those around us, we find freedom unimaginable and bravery like we thought we could never achieve. This is the truth I wish to share with you, so hear me when I say, you are not alone. 

Why Trust MATTERS.

Why does the Church require silence? Was Jesus silent in the midst of corrupt leaders and uses of the Church? Time and time again we read in Scripture about Jesus confronting the Pharisees and Sadducees about their hypocrisy, abuse, and corruption. It is inevitable that we fail to think about our Savior upending tables in the Synagogue as it was used as a market for money changing and the sale of sacrificial animals. We spend so much time in a mindset of silent suffering when there is something terribly wrong with the abuse going on in the Church. We shame people, we put them down, we act as if we are better than them when we are not, and worst of all, we bow down to others when we should be standing up. So I ask you, what is our purpose? What is the Church's purpose? To go and make disciples of every nation? Yes, a thousand times, yes! But then, how do we accomplish this purpose as individuals sitting silently while people in our midst suffer at the hands of those who should be lifting them up and pouring into them?

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FULL DISCLOSURE... this particular paragraph was born out of a situation going on in my life a few years ago... one that, unfortunately, went on for too long, and damaged my heart and my trust in Christian leadership. As usual, though, God is faithful to heal in the midst of such a broken environment. So now... for the rest of the story (as they say in Lake Wobegone).

Resiliency is defined as "the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness". If nothing else, God has made me resilient. Over the past 5 years, I have lost multiple family members, neighbors, been homeless, unemployed, and had one of the people I loved most walk away from me. I have been rejected and treated as rubbish by the church community that was supposed to love me and uplift me. At the same time, I have gained many friends, come to a fuller understanding of what it means to love, gained a new church family, have a job in the field I wanted to work in the beginning, and a home to call my own. I am immeasurably blessed. And I am immeasurably thankful for what the Lord has done over and over again to prove his trustworthiness and faithfulness.

I have learned the hard way that Christians are sometimes the ones who hurt us most. Broken people leading broken people requires transparency, accountability, and at times, the courage to step up and say something. It requires us to love broken people where they are while recognizing our own brokenness simultaneously. We give grace because we have been given grace, not because we, or they, deserve it.

Jesus says in 1 Corinthians 12: 21-27: "The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I don't need you!' And the head cannot say to the feet, 'I don't need you!' On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."

That piece of Scripture is an especially difficult piece of Scripture to stomach when a sister or brother in your midst is the most angry, bitter, broken, and ugly person you have ever seen. But that is when we are called to LOVE most! We all know the next chapter of 1 Corinthians when Jesus talks about what love looks like (Chapter 13). And we all know Matthew 18:15-17: "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established but the testimony of two of three witnesses.' If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan of a tax collector."

There is a fine line between mercy and justice. I, myself, have a tendency to lean more heavily on the side of justice than of mercy. Almost always. But vengeance is the Lord's. Even when it physically hurts to let Him have it. It is a far better thing to trust in the Lord than take matters into your own hands. In the end, my answer for the broken Pastor and the broken church I was attending was to step out of the situation after being integrated back into the young adult community and the larger faith community. But that took years. It was not an overnight process, and it was not a process by which the Lord worked quickly to change my heart or the hearts of others involved. I received counseling, love, and most of all, acceptance from other Christians outside of that community who knew what it was like to be in the midst of a broken and bitter season. And it was ultimately because of their love that I returned to the feet of Christ. It was their kindness and compassion that drew me in.

They were a reflection of the good Shepherd. The one that draws us in even when we push him away, or when we fear trusting anyone or anything again, let alone an invisible God. I wish I knew where I was ultimately going with this story, but all I can say is that it's not over. While God continues to break down the hardened walls of the hearts that were so cold towards me at my former church, He also continues to heal my heart and teach it to trust again with my new church family. He has used my brokenness for good, as a testimony to others that it gets better, and that He is worth trusting with my life. He has used my bitterness and anger as teachable moments and to speak into the lives of others who have been rejected from the church. He uses me. And He uses my story over and over again to draw others to himself. I could not ask for a better soft close to this chapter of my story. He is using me to restore. He is restoring me. It is by grace I have been saved, through faith, not through anything I have done. It is a gift of God - not from works, so that I might not boast in what I have not done.

" For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

Oh hey! That Starbucks cup is red!

We are a broken people in a broken world... Take, for example, the Starbucks cup that just came out and the controversy that's been poured out over the fact that they removed the decorations (which happened to include "Merry Christmas"). A pastor friend of mine Facebook-posted something that I want to share with you all...He said, "I seldom rant on social media - but this Starbucks red cup "controversy" is one of the legitimate reasons society doesn't embrace the faith community. We need to stop protesting the very people we're attempting to connect with and maybe our churches wouldn't be half empty." Jeremy is right. The Church too often pushes away the very people we should be embracing. A coffee cup doesn't determine my faith... Jesus is not represented or found on (or in, for that matter) a coffee cup. He is FAR GREATER. He is the God of the universe, of His people, and of His Church. His heart hurts when we divide ourselves and push away those who are seeking his name because of something of the world. Those who are in relationship with Christ are called to be different. 1 John 2:15-16 affirms this. The author writes: "Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world" (NIV). 

We are different. Our lives should be markedly different. God didn't tell us to go riot at the lack of "Merry Christmas" on a coffee cup. He mandates us to share the gospel and to care for the brokenhearted and the orphans and widows. He mandates us to care for one another and admonish one another. So this takes me back to where I started. We are a broken people... called to care for one another in a broken and unstable world. Embrace broken people, and have the faith and bravery to show them that Christ doesn't reject them like we so often do.

Hardwired for Relationships

So much of how we see ourselves and the world is tied up in whether or not we know our true identities as sons and daughters of the living God. I've had the privilege recently to be a part of a group of people who do know their identities looking to teach it and live it every day. We are created as image bearers of the Creator of Heaven and Earth and in His image we are good. God said in Genesis 1:31, "God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good." We, created by God, are GOOD! Rejoice! We are very good! And God also said in Genesis, "it is not good for man to be alone" and so he created woman. Voila! The first human to human relationship was created. God created community.

Christian community is something that we are hardwired to need and to want. To deny ourselves or have others deny that community is detrimental not only to the one but to the many. We are all part of one body with many gifts. "There are different kinds of gifts but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work." (1 Corinthians 12:5,6) And Scripture continues to tell us that:

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body...and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Now if the foot should say, 'Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,' it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, 'Because I am not the eye, I do not belong to the body,' it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If they were all one part, where would the odd be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I don't need you!' And the head cannot say to the feet, 'I don't need you!' On the contrary, those parts of the body that seems to be weaker are indispensable, and the part that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our preen table parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."

I know that's a lot of Scripture to take in, but it's important to the topic at hand, we are all part of the body and are INDISPENSABLE to one another. This means that we must not only have a healthy understanding of the purpose of the body, but a healthy understanding on what it means to live as a body (It's important because our relationships are a reflection to non-Christians of the Lord!). The Church must have a balanced focus on both discipleship and evangelism.

(The real question we have to ask is, "Do we trust Him?)....

Living a tenderhearted life

Tenderhearted; Merciful; Grace-giving

Prayer: “It is one of the most difficult things that we, in our own human attitudes, can tackle, with the help of God. In our own callous hearts, our soul’s deepest desires are those we are afraid to relinquish. These are the burdens that the Lord wants. And these are the burdens that we should be praying for with and for one another. That is the tenderheartedness that the Lord seeks. Yet our longing hearts, in our fear of letting go, beg us to give these things to Him. He grieves as we don’t give them to Him. God’s joy comes in the morning, when we give our burdens up to the Lord and learn to love deeply and graciously, as He does with us. Tenderheartedly.”

“The heart is used in Scripture as the most comprehensive term for the authentic person. It is the part of our being where we desire, deliberate, and decide. It has been described as the place of conscious and decisive spiritual activity.” (J. Stowell, Fan the Flame, Moody 1986, p. 13)

2 Kings: 22:18-20

18 But as for the king of Judah, who sent you to inquire of the Lord, in this manner you shall speak to him, ‘Thus says the Lord God of Israel: “Concerning the words which you have heard— 19 because your heart was tender, and you humbled yourself before the Lord when you heard what I spoke against this place and against its inhabitants, that they would become a desolation and a curse, and you tore your clothes and wept before Me, I also have heard you,” says the Lord. 20 Surely, therefore, I will gather you to your fathers, and you shall be gathered to your grave in peace; and your eyes shall not see all the calamity which I will bring on this place.” So they brought back word to the king.

This scripture refers to Josiah, King of Judah (2 Chronicles 34:1). Josiah’s heart was SO tender toward his people that when God pronounced judgment over them, he wept and tore his clothes before the Lord. And the Lord heard Josiah. Josiah grieved deeply and personally for the sins of others, the people of Judah. And as he cried out to God in prayer and grief, the Lord heard his prayers and answered them.

In modern-day culture, we would call this emotion empathy. But the Biblical meaning of “tenderhearted” goes beyond our modern-day perception of what empathy is. What do we think of when we hear ‘empathy’. How do we respond in empathy towards one another? Is it simply a thought that runs through our heads? Or do we take action for our brothers and sisters as we sense deeply and carry their burdens on ourselves?

The Hebrew word for “tenderhearted”, eusplagchnos, is found only in the Bible twice.
The Hebrew word, however, does not mean what we think it might mean. Eu means well. Splagchnon means bowel.

This word literally translates as having strong, healthy bowels. The inward organs were considered in those times to be the seat of emotion and intention. The word then means compassionate, easily moved to love, pity, or sorrow. It describes one having tender feelings for another. For example, the phrase “I felt it in the pit of my stomach” is a modern parallel.

Ephesians 4:32
“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (NLT)

1 Peter 3:8
“Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.” (NLT)

Other cross-referenced verses:

Peter 1:22

Peter 5:5

Philippians 2:3

Ephesians 4:2

Romans 12:16

So, the Greek word refers to that deep internal caring, comparable to the modern expressions such as “broken-hearted” or “gut-wrenching”. Splagchnon is the strongest Greek word for expressing compassionate love or tender mercy and involves one’s entire being. It describes compassion which moves a person to the very depths of their being. In the Gospels, apart from its use in parables, it is a word used ONLY for Jesus.

Conclusion:

I want to be clear, carrying one another’s burdens does not mean that we must feel as if we’re carrying a weight for one another. Jesus himself said “my yoke is easy and my burden is light”. There, also, is how we should be relating to our brothers and sisters, also saved in Christ and reconciled in relationship both vertically and horizontally. What I mean by this is that Christ not only came to reconcile us to himself, but also to one another. As we are all parts of one body, we must also recognize one another’s strengths, talents, faults, and struggles. It is our differences, our strengths and faults that make the body of Christ strong. But if we fail to walk in relationship with the Lord, none of these things matter. This is why we must care for one another by interceding for each other’s burdens.

Being tenderhearted leads to a grace-filled life. This is true not only for other people, but for ourselves as well. And because we are tenderhearted towards others, we have a greater understanding of God’s love and tenderheartedness for us. We understand how God grieves for us in our own sin. And this understanding (among other Spiritual disciplines) is what draws us closer in relationship with God.

Some quotes:

Euspagchnos is not a word about conduct. It is about literally, your insides. Be well-disposed towards each other in your deepest innerbeing. It is the EXACT opposite of hypocrisy that acts tender and feels malice.

“Christians are to be noted for their tenderness of heart. They are to be full of deep and mellow affection, in opposition of that wrath and anger which they are summoned to abandon.” -John Zadie

P.S. None of this comes from the idea that I walk perfectly, or for that matter even CLOSE to well in this. We are all a work in progress. We are works that the Lord has promised to bring to completion. Amen.